Getting out of Debt is Impossible!

“Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.”    Albert Einstein 

What is this notion that we should – if we even could – get out of debt?  Who are these crazies?  What kind of utopian, share-cropping, commune-based cult did they wonder out of?  Do they not realize that debt is part of our civilized culture?  A pocketful of plastic and an eye towards our credit score is the key to a successful life in today’s world.  Geez, get with the times bozo.

A new car; new furniture; new clothes; this season’s biggest baddest-liquid-plasma-flat-screen-movie-projected- surround-sounded TV; and the best dinners out money can buy are what I want.  No, they’re what I need, and I need them NOW dammit!  No luxury is too large if it’ll fit on a small plastic square, and I’ve got a pocket full of ‘em because I’m successful don’t you know.

Debt-free, how passé, wake-up little caveman there’s future earnings to be spent.  Fodder for tomorrow’s garage sales and good-will donations must be purchased today with next year’s income.  Sheer genius man and I have not actually seen an honest greenback in months but why bother?  Cash is slow, cash is analog, cash is dirty green paper while plastic is sleek and bright and colorful and this one touts my devotion to favorite sports team while this one boasts of my undying loyalty to this hotel chain or car manufacturer or gas station or airline.  There are so many I can’t remember which is which but I know this one gives me cash back so let’s go the mall and make some money.

Debt is where it’s at.  Debt is how the rich looking people do it and I want to do it with them.  Debt is the new cool groove, and has been for a long while.  Debt is the new smoking, and that turned out alright. Why would I ever want to quit it?  Besides, it’s just a monthly payment, and a payment never really hurt anyone, right?

So get outta my way with your debt-free drivel.  I have people to impress and a retail industry to support.  See, I am important and I do matter and this I know because my bank tells me so.

 

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Category: Personal Finance

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