Hello, and Hello.  Back from the beyond one might say.

I won’t dare bore you with explanations for my absence, nor, frankly speaking, will I promise to resume a twice weekly schedule.  But I am here to tease and upcoming series. 

This is real and forthcoming, as I have nearly 18 articles in the can, so to speak.

It’s not directly related to budgets and personal finance but it is a topic or genre I’ve covered below.  I hope you’ll enjoy and I look forward to your contributions as the story unfolds.

Photo By: A.L.I.C.E.

Today we have a guest post from the Car Negotiation Coach who takes a break from discussing car negotiation strategies and reveals how to combat common sales ploys.
 

Whether you’re buying a car,  jewelry, mattresses, or a big screen TV, you’ll most certainly be going head to head with a professional salesman.  Unfortunately for you, these folks practice selling every day.  In order to get a good deal it helps to understand the tricks they use to separate you from your money.   Let’s breakdown are a few of the more common sales tactics and how to defend against them. 
 
1.       Sales Tactic: Teaser Ads.  Before you arrive at the store the dance has already begun!  Many times you’ll find a teaser ad that’s too good to be true.  Stores advertise an incredible offer, but when you arrive it’s out of stock.  That’s because they only stocked a limited number of that amazing item in the first place.  Once you’re in the door, the salesman tells you they just happen to have a similar model with a faster processor, more memory, etc. for only $200 more.

Defense:  Realize this may be the case before you leave the house and don’t get your heart set on the item.  When you arrive at the store, maintain your objectivity and look for the best value even if your target purchase is not there.

2.       Sales Tactic: Assuming the Sale.  One of the first tricks salesman are taught is to make subtle, forward looking statements to help buyers subconsciously accept the terms of the deal.  For example, “Your wife will love this when you get home”, or “let’s try on some ties to go with your new suit”.  Mechanics are great at this technique.  You go in for an oil change and they’ll tell you they need to replace the filters and brakes…..and it’s not phrased as a question! Pay close attention the next time you buy something and you’ll notice these types of statements.   People naturally don’t like conflict.  Subconsciously it’s easier to go with the flow then to openly contradict the salesman and back out of a purchase.

Defense:  Don’t let a salesman convince you that you’ve bought something until you’ve made up your own mind.  Take your time and make a purchase on your own schedule, not someone else’s.

 
3.       Sales Tactic: Limited Offer.  The idea is to create a sense of urgency and prevent you from shopping around for a better price.  For example, a salesman tells you “If you buy this TV today, we’ll give you a free extended warranty, but the offer is good for today only.” 

Defense:  Take the time to evaluate the offer.  Do you have a cell phone or pda?  Excuse yourself for a minute and see if you can find any similar deals online.  Don’t be pressured to buy immediately unless it really happens to be a great deal.

 
4.       Sales Tactic: The Rebate.  Retailers budget for extremely low rebate redemption rates, sometimes even 20% according to Wikipedia.  They expect that the general public is too lazy to take the time to complete a rebate.  Doesn’t that sound crazy?  But think about how easy it is to procrastinate getting an original receipt, filling out the rebate card, addressing an envelope, etc.

Defense:  Read the fine print and understand what hoops you will have to jump through.  If you do decide to buy, make sure that you actually mail that rebate in! 

 
5.       Sales Tactic: Breaking down payments.  To overcome the “I can’t afford it” objection, a salesman may break down a figure into daily amounts to minimize the appearance of the overall cost.  You’ll notice this tactic used for big items like financing a car or a home mortgage.  They may say something like, “you can afford an extra $100 a month…it  comes to only $3 a day, same as a Starbucks coffee.” But that same $3 a day adds up to $1100 a year pretty quickly!

Defense:  Never be conned into thinking about price in terms of payments.  Always negotiate the total purchase price, payments are secondary.

 
6.       Sales Tactic: One-of-a-kind products.  Do you know why it’s so hard to comparison shop for mattresses?  It’s because you’ll never find the same brand and model of mattress at a competing store.  The mattress companies do this on purpose to confuse buyers.  Ever notice how hard it is to compare jewelry from one place to another?  They don’t want you to be able to compare apples to apples and shop around for the best price.

Defense:  Compare the key factors that make up the quality of the item you’re buying.   If it’s a mattress, compare coil counts and coil gauge…  If it’s a ring, compare the cut and number of karats, etc.

 
7.       Sales Tactic: “I bought this model myself”.   Whether or not this statement is actually true, the intent is to give you the impression that the item must be the best if the salesman owns one himself.  What they neglect to mention is that if they did in fact buy it, they probably got it at cost or used their employee discount to make it worthwhile. 

Defense:   Ask them how much they paid.  And are they willing to share that employee discount with you? Not likely…
 

When buying big ticket items, the key to getting a good price is to take a step back and evaluate the deal.  Realize that almost everything the salesman says is calculated and on purpose.   They are playing a game to get you to you to spend more money.  If you are aware this is happening, it’s much easier to keep your perspective and get a good deal.
 
Photo By: hahatango

Today marks DoYouDaveRamsey.com’s one year anniversary!  This is the milestone I’ve been targeting from the start.  I marked time by writing about my 1 month and 6 month anniversaries, but the 1 year mark was the unattainable goal in my mind.

I say unattainable because writing to a recurring deadline is something of a challenge.  At least it has been at times for me in this busy year of transition.  But it has been a wonderful journey and I’ve certainly enjoyed the ride.

Most blogs come and go such that simply making it to this milestone is unique.  That’s another reason I once believed this milestone would not be reached – or at least not reached with an uninterrupted production schedule.

With that, I must quickly move to say thanks to those who have been reading and commenting along the way.  I sometimes wonder if I don’t enjoy engaging the comments more than writing the original articles.  I certainly recall a couple instances where my comment responses were longer than the original article and those are fun and engaging moments… so please continue to comment or start commenting if you have not done so already.

If you’ve only read my words on Facebook, hop over and check out the full site.

Having hit this milestone and taking a moment to look back, I want to set my sites on the future.  As we’ve already started to see in my monthly goal posts – January and February – I have at least hinted towards, if not demonstrated, a full slate of activity for this year.

It is not lost on me the irony or apparent conflicts that exist in my aggressive goals.  Time spent pursuing separate writing projects may be at odds with my desire to grow the site’s footprint.  That is a balancing act I’ll enjoy managing and is likely a topic I’ll engage as the next months unfold.

As a published heads up, there may be instances over the next year in which I’ll need to scale down my twice weekly schedule to accommodate other initiatives.  I don’t anticipate ever failing to deliver at least one article a week but I hope to limit the need for even that scale back.  In any event, I’ll keep you current with my projects and projections in the monthly goal summaries.

So with that as context, let me transition back to a more positive topic – YOU.

For those reading along, I like to think that you play a key role in this writing journey and I’d like for it to be a more active role as well.  Please let me know what you’ve enjoyed most and least about my efforts thus far.  On what topics would you like to see me spend more time?  On what topics would you like to see less time?  What questions or topics would you have me explore that I’ve not yet commented upon?

In the next year I do want to grow my readership and traffic, and I can think of no better way to start than to serve well those following faithfully today.

THANKS!

With an acknowledged nod towards self promotion, here’s a list of my favorite posts from each of the past 12 months.  I hope you’ll take a moment to comment as to your favorites as well.

February 2009 – Focus, On What Is Yours

March 2009 – Some Answers Are Obvious

April 2009 – Debt Is Squalor

May 2009 – I Once Met A Man In A Sauna

June 2009 – Does Your Money Even Like You

July 2009 – Plant Your Financial Tree

August 2009 – Car Lease Saves Budget…?

September 2009 – I Love Football

October 2009 – Happy Recession Anniversary

November 2009 – Mandatory Healthcare Reform – Part 2

December 2009 – Money Buys Us Options

January 2010 – Financial Infidelity

 Photo By: perfectbound

Your Turn – If you enjoyed this article, I would personally appreciate it if you would consider commenting below and/or subscribing to our Free Updates via email or RSS updates.  Thanks!

So, when was the last time you cheated on your spouse?  What?  It’s a fair question, no need to get all bent out of shape.  We all cheat on our spouses from time to time.  Heck, I know I’ve done it twice, at least that I can recall.  Some folks consider it sport or simply a normal way of life.  That’s just how some households roll.

Now to be sure, I am not talking about marital infidelity.  That is a serious and life altering violation.

Rather, I’m referring to infidelity as it relates to the household budget.  How many times or how often have you made significant purchases outside the bounds of spousal approval or review?

I know I’ve done this twice – my wife may well remind me of other times when she reads along. 

I once spent the lion’s share of a tax refund to carpet the basement and another time bought and installed a surround sound unit while she was out of town.  In both instances I felt the purchases were necessary but hindsight does allow validity for my wife’s assertion that we could have used the money in other more pressing ways.

In fairness, my transgressions were minor and directionally aligned with improvements for our shared space, but the execution was poor on my part.  I surely could have, and should have, involved my beloved in the decision making process.  It is a lesson I’ve since learned and we now enjoy more frequent and open communication on the topic of our finances.

On another end of the continuum, I remember a couple years ago listening to Ramsey read a letter from a listener.  In the letter the writer conveyed the story of his wife opening numerous charge cards and racking up tens of thousands of dollars in charges.  The man woke up thinking he was free of all non-mortgage debt and ready to enjoy his life’s diligence only to find that his household was actually buried under nearly forty-thousand dollars worth of credit card debt.  I recall being horrified at the prospect which only begins to approximate how he must have felt. 

Betrayal, damaged trust and respect, and anger so commonly associated with one form of infidelity certainly apply here as well.

So how do we confront or combat this behavior before it gets out of hand.  I can think of 3 easy ways to get started.

Grow-up – Let’s be honest, my purchases were impulsive and rooted in a sense of entitlement.  I am the primary earner in our home and I allowed that fact to direct my actions with only slight regard for the opinions of my wife.  I look back now and recognize my behaviors as silly and childish.  And now with a much more collaborative bent towards our finances, I know the prudence of making these decisions as a team.

Communicate – In a marriage there is no such thing as too much communication.  As a man, I may find there to be instances of too much chatter but open and honest and connected communication represent prized moments.  Sharing from our broad financial plans to our mundane monthly budgets to our ever evolving “list” of next-in-line home projects ensures that we’re both pulling in the same direction.

Allow Wiggle Room – The easiest way to have freedom within the constraints of a budget is to build it into the process.  Matching his and her ‘blow’ money line items allow flexibility for smaller impulse purchases which often scratches the psychological itch enough to empower restraint against the larger budget busting spin outs.

So now you’ve been both warned and equipped, keep your wallet in your pants and the salesman out of your purse – all in the name of enhanced harmony at home.

Photo By: fpsurgeon

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About this time a year ago my wife and I talked about how good 2008 had been to our household.  It was a fun moment of connection, and reflection, and celebration, and optimism.  In a demonstration of faith we agreed that 2009 would be an even better year for us.  And so it has been.

Of course 2009, for our house, began with tremendous questions in the air.  Walking away from a long term employer in January amidst the prevailing economic climate and with no known landing spot will do that.

But the time between jobs was refreshing and motivating.  Within a month I launched this site and have been faithfully exploring and chronicling my thoughts and reactions for all of those patient enough to read along.  I believe this exercise is more for my benefit than yours and it has certainly opened doors of opportunity in my mind – more to come as we track my goals in 2010.

The time between jobs also helped me identify what I had enjoyed most about my previous employer.  I honestly thought I wanted my next job to take me in directions far from my previous experience.  That was the case until I really started walking through my resume and in preparing responses to mock interview questions.  It was then that I realized how I wanted to perfect my previous experience in my next career chapter.

Then – as if suddenly – the perfect opportunity presented itself.  The fit was instant and obvious like hand in glove with much less travel and in aggregate a more handsome benefit package.  I asked, God answered.  That’s not to say there are no challenges, that’s every day, but solution to challenge and growth through exposure is part of what I enjoyed and enjoy most.

And, that’s not to say one day my dreams and harnessed abilities won’t lead me to new pastures, but 2009 introduced me to a perfect career home for this season.

2009 brought us incrementally closer to financial security – debt repayment, Roth IRA Investments, and a dream realizing Real Estate Investment.  Perhaps not all were executed in absolute accordance to Ramsey’s plan but none were whimsical or ill-considered either.

2009 brought us upgrades to our previous car situations – his and hers.  New used cars that will serve us for years to come and with no monthly payments in tow.

2009 afforded another ride weekend with my father – moments in time, for me, that at once race forward and stand still as snap shots in my mind.

2009 marked the passage of time with my 20^th high school reunion. It was everything and nothing I would have expected and it was invaluable in the way it dusted off long ignored friendships.

2009 is a banner year for my college alma mater as our football program marched through a spectacular season and now stands on the threshold of greatness.

2009 yielded reconnections with family members and time well spent with dear friends crafting memories that will endure.

Yeah, 2009 certainly delivered on its promise and our household is better for it.

…A couple nights ago my wife and I talked about how good 2009 had been to our household.  It was a fun moment of connection, and reflection, and celebration, and optimism.  In a demonstration of faith we agreed that 2010 would be an even better year for us.  And so it shall be…

Photo By: Heidi & Matt

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This article was featured in the Personal Finance Carnival

In concept it seems so simple, so obvious, and so… easy to do.  However, in practice, it can be a near impossible task.  Delivering practical and appreciated customer service may sound easy, but it is often impossible for a company to consistently execute against the objective.

Admittedly, some companies don’t even put up a fight.  For years BellSouth cultivated a reputation of inferior service.  At the time, I can only imagine they realized the delivery of proper customer care was cost prohibitive and since they were largely a monopoly player the decision was a clear one – all sales little service.  Their approach has evolved with the changing marketplace and while they are not the best, I have found them to be considerably more capable and service oriented than in years past.

But this only examines a part of the equation.  As a consumer and participant in the customer/service equation, I find that I bring varying levels of expectation to the discussion.  And as a business process management consultant for most of the last 15 years, I also find that I sometimes bring a high level of expectation to the table.  As a rule, having high expectations is not a bad thing but admittedly I don’t always (re)consider my point of reference or point of contact.  After all, customer facing service departments often report the highest levels of turnover, which makes high value training a losing proposition.  Therefore, the roles in these units are highly managed and scripted and devoid of creative problem solving – and even intelligent discussion of an issue in extreme cases.

So if we consider a company’s service approach, the experience of the service representative, and the level of expectation we bring to the discussion, there are 3 levers which will ultimately influence our pass/fail service grade.

Consider my recently experiences with Comcast Cable over the last few months.  I mostly find that Comcast delivers a quality product but their service representatives have ranged from fantastic to “how-is-this-person-able-to-dress-themselves-for-work-everyday” levels of incompetence.

• Back in August I called to price products and schedule an installation.  A 10 minute sale drags out to well over 2 hours and at least 5 agents as no one is able to adequately describe their program line-ups and pricing structures.  One agent is wholly unable to grasp that while my cell phone number is an Atlanta based area code, I’m actually calling about service in another state.
• When I call back the next day to re-start my effort, I have much lower expectations and am pleasantly surprised when the representative is articulate and knowledgeable and able to close the sale in about 8 minutes.  I am then wowed when a manager joins the line to offer me free extended services and free installation as an apology for my previous day’s experience.
• Fast forward a couple months when I’m experiencing a hiccup with my cable box.  After 2+ hours on hold, I give up and decide to try again the next morning.  Then, the next morning – again with much lowered expectation – my service issue is addressed in about 4 minutes.

In both 2-part instances, I ended up being wowed by the quality of service I received in the second stanza but only after suffering through a bad experience.  Had I encountered the second representative during my first call, I’d sing high praise to Comcast’s level of service, but I had to dull my level of expectation first by dealing with a layer of ineptitude.  However, the reality is that some folks do actually get the “good guys” on the first attempt. 

I certainly recall instances when I’ve been wowed by the support offered by a customer service rep at various companies with which I’ve dealt, but ironically, I can’t recall a single company.  I think that is because it is more about the representative themselves and the difference they are making as individuals rather than a philosophy of an entire organization.

And so as I look for a landing spot for this discussion, I find two conclusions or takeaways competing in my mind for print space.  I’ll share both:

First, approach a service opportunity as the customer with the realization that multiple attempts or calls may be required to find their most capable representative but be fair and realistic in allowing (read encouraging) everyone you encounter to be that person.

And second, recognize that we have the power to serve someone when they come to us with questions or in need of assistance.  Perhaps we’re not truly in a customer facing role, but we each have customers of our output and we’d do well to build our personal brands around delivering the “wow”.

 Photo By:  allspice1

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As we enter this week of Thanksgiving, I think it’s important that we pause and connect with our inner gratitude.  It is so easy to become lost in the mechanics of day to day living or the want for things we don’t have that we often fail to appreciate the bounty that is readily available to us every day.

…I’ve been going to the same guy for haircuts for over 10 years now and along the way we’ve become pretty good friends.  Just recently his wife filed for divorce and we talked about it during my last visit.  It is a tough and fresh loss for him.  And while I certainly feel for my friend and his situation, in the moment it crystallized for me the appreciation and gratitude I have for my own wife.  On the drive home, I called her and shared as much.

Similarly, the continued barrage of financial news can be a source of appreciation – my bills may stack high but I’m not bankrupt and my home is not in foreclosure.  Unemployment rates are high but I am fortunate to have a job.  Even if you’re on the short end of those draws, there is still plenty for which to be thankful, including even the life lessons you are living and will have to pass along to others.

…And so I wanted to write some inspiring word of encouragement to celebrate the week.  I may well have tripped over the clichéd line about “we all have something to be thankful for”, but I refuse to plunge headlong into this true but trite sentiment.

But just when my inner wells of inspiration seemed dry, I received an email from a friend that carried with it a story which seemed to hit near enough to my target.  And now, continuing on a theme, I am thankful for the story in a time of writers’ block, and more so, for the friend who thought enough of me to pass it along.

Pennies

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels, etc.  This is the first time I’ve ever heard this twist on the story.  It gives you something to think about.

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband’s employer’s home.  My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend.  The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.

The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live.  The husband’s employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants.  Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband.  He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.

Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him.  There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped and a few cigarette butts.  Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.

He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure.  How absurd!  What need did this man have for a single penny?  Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her.  Finally, she could stand it no longer.  She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man’s face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see.  She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

“Look at it.”  He said.  “Read what it says”, She read the words “United States of America”

“No, not that; read further.”

“One cent?”  “No, keep reading.”

“In God we Trust?”

 ”Yes!” 

“And?”

“And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin.  Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription.  It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it!  God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him?  Who am I to pass it by?  When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him.  For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold.  I think it is God’s way of starting a conversation with me.  Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change.  I read the words, “In God We Trust”, and had to laugh.  Yes, God, I get the message.

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient.

Author Unknown

An interesting story, one I trust you enjoyed.  In some ways it was probably more religious than something I might offer, not because I don’t aspire to such purpose but rather because I don’t write religion very well.  But the take away I’d amplify today is the significance of injecting random, yet common, reflection points into your day.  Upon encountering these triggers, take a moment to, if not say thanks, at least be grateful for both the magnificent and mundane elements of your day. 

In the meantime, if you are reading these words, know that I am grateful for you taking the time to do so and I hope you’ll continue to read along.

Thanks!

Photo By: Tulip Girl

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Some of my favorite writing is in response to reader emails.  Sometimes that means a response to a comment on the website but even more fun are the letters from readers asking for my advice.  Granted, I’ve only had this happen a couple times and half of those were cases of mistaken identity, but the idea of offering advice to someone in need is compelling and engaging and rewarding.

Recently a sweet seasoned citizen sent me a message in which she shared her situation and asked for some direction.  It was a busy day in the office but I felt compelled to reply even if my response was somewhat rushed.  This led to string of emails and even my crafting a pair of template letters that may assist as she boldly and faithfully addresses her new financial realities.

Below I’ve excerpted portions from our discussion to share with you.  I’ve also included links to the letters in the event you want to review those as well.  However, it is very important to me that you don’t view those letters outside the context of the story and situational implications.

If you’ve spent much time on this site, you know that I am a strong advocate of personal responsibility.  However, in some instances we are dealt circumstances that cause us not to shirk our responsibilities, but rather to address and honor them in an unconventional manner.  I believe the situation below is an example and my advice and support are geared towards that unconventional solution.

Read along and post your comments below… if you’re reading this via email or facebook, take a minute to click over to the site to add your comment.  I feel strongly about this situation and encourage and invite a “strong showing” in the online comments for today’s edition.

Original Message to me from… we’ll call her Ella

I have contacted The Credit Exchange to help settle my debt problem with what they call debt settlement,  Is a good idea to do this,  I am 75 years old and my husband is 63 had to take early retirement due not being able to work due to bad health and our income has gone down drastically and  now there is no way to keep up with our bill load.  All we have now is a social security check which is our only income.  I am afraid this company is out to get my money only and not help settle my bills with the creditors.  I don’t know where to turn.

My Response

Thanks for your message. I appreciate you reaching out to me with a question and I’ll do my best to give you some sound advice.

However, first allow me to clarify that I am not Dave Ramsey.  I am a fan (thus the name of the site) but my name is Dave Ozment.

Now, I can, and will, still offer quality advice, but I want you to know the source.  You can read more about me on my site – DoYouDaveRamsey.com.

OK, on to answering your question…..

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, and NEVER… please do NOT use a debt settlement company to assist you with your situation.  Now let me explain why I feel so strongly about this.

Debt Settlement companies promise 1 thing – lower payments.  However, they rarely follow through and are NEVER worth the cost.  Let me explain why:

The only reason a creditor would ever accept less than what is owed, is if they think they won’t get paid at all.  Debt Settlement companies, in general, will chase this angle by collecting a monthly payment from you and then NOT sending it to your creditors.  They may then try to negotiate a lower payment but they often fail.  I think they fail for 2 reasons:

1) they are not as personally invested in the negotiations as you would be and,

2) as a creditor, why would I accept less from someone who I know has just been making monthly payments to a debt settlement company?  No thanks, I’d say as the creditor, just send me what you’ve been paying them.

If your situation is dire enough to seek relief outside of simply paying the amounts due (and yours presents that way), there is no reason to pay someone not pay your bills when you can do that on your own.  See the thought process?  Once you’ve saved up some money, and the creditor has not been paid for a while, you can negotiate a settlement with the dollars you’ve saved yourself.

Here are 5 points to keep in mind as you work through your situation:

1 – Pay for food, shelter, and utilities first, even if that’s all you pay!

2 – Mail a certified letter to each of your creditors letting them know that they will not be paid but that you’d consider a settlement figure from them in the future if they are interested – I will volunteer to help you craft this letter if you are interested

3 – Accept settlements only if the terms are received on paper and in writing

4 – Never allow electronic access to your accounts

5 – Be very careful with your checking and savings accounts.  Social Security dollars should not be garnished or pulled from an account due to a legal action or judgment.  However, if your creditors sue and you are unable to reach a settlement, and they win a judgment, they may be allowed to sweep funds from your account.  I don’t say this to frighten you, but to warn you what could happen if the creditors sue.  That is likely a ways off, but worth keeping in mind.

I hope this helps and please feel free to reach back out to me if you want to discuss this further or if I may be of additional assistance.

Thanks and God Bless,

Second Message from “Ella”

I would appreciate your drafting up the letter to be sent to my creditors by certified mail. 

….Waiting to hear back from you, Thanks again.

At this point I realized I had signed on to provide more than simply an encouragement or word of advice via email.  Now I was somewhat engaged in the process of her situation.  To be honest, I felt a little conflicted and I was not overly disappointed that work kept me from responding for several days as it allowed me time.  On the one hand it was easy to view “Ella” as I would a member of my own family and the advice and direction flowed freely.  On the other hand, I was afraid that I might be venturing onto thin ice.  What if my advice was wrong, what if it exacerbated the situation?  And could there be legal ramifications?  Finally I asked myself the Dave Ramsey standard when it comes to giving advice to another, “What would I do if I woke up in your shoes?” 

Now the answer to this one was easy.  I knew exactly how I’d handle the situation if I, or a member of my family, were involved.  And with a little disclaimer wording, I set forth my response.

My Response

As promised, I spent some time this afternoon crafting letters you can use with your creditors.

Before we start, however, it is very important that I share the following disclaimers with you first.  I am not a lawyer or banker or financial planner.  My recommendations or advice only represent my opinions and are not grounded in professional training or education.  The advice I offer to you is exactly the same I would follow myself or provide to family and friends but it should be followed by you only with your full understanding and ownership of the steps taken.

With that said, let me share again my opinions.

You approached me with questions about using a debt settlement organization and I strongly recommended that you don’t follow such a path.  As we have only exchanged a few emails, I am not fully aware as to the types of debt you have.  This is important and something I should have already asked.  As you were thinking of engaging a credit service, I assumed you are dealing primarily with credit card debt.

If you have a car loan or mortgage loan my advice today will not work.  The creditors will simply repossess the car or foreclose on the home.  In these circumstances we’ll need to devise another plan and I’m willing to assist in that as well.

However, for unsecured debt – credit cards for example – this approach and the attached letters are exactly what I would use or offer to a family member if they were in a similar position.

The key principle here is that you respect your debt obligation but have new life circumstances that negatively impact your ability to repay the full balance.  This is not a breakdown of integrity but rather an honest breakdown of ability.  I emphasize this because there are bad people who would avoid a bill even if they could pay.  I don’t believe you are that person and that leads me to want to help.

For that reason, I’ve crafted and attached 2 letters you can take and personalize for your needs.

Both letters need to be customized to your specific creditor.  I have <bracketed> places where you will need to insert your personal information – name, address, account information, etc.

One letter assumes no ability to offer a settlement at this time.  It suggests a willingness to settle in the future but offers no timeframe for settlement.  Based on your last message, this may be the better option at this time.

The second letter allows you the opportunity to propose a settlement and the places for that language and proposal are clearly marked.  If a creditor has not been paid for several months or the prospects of payment are very low, a 50% settlement may be valid.  In extreme cases, perhaps even less.

You may want to start with the first letter and follow-up with the second letter once you’ve been able to save some money.

It is my recommendation that you send this letter to 3 levels within a credit organization; 1 copy to the customer service center, 1 copy directly to the President of Customer Service, and another to the CEO.  For the last 2 you’ll need to do some research on their web site to find these individuals and to collect the mailing address to the headquarters – send these letters to the intended recipient by name rather than just their title.  These 2 will likely have the same address which should be different than the first.

Save a copy of each letter and the return receipts as they come back so you’ll know which letter was sent in each instance.

As for the collections letters – again for credit cards only – I personally would ignore them and the collections calls which are sure to follow.  On the phone, I’d simply state that you are addressing this issue with their executives and that you appreciate their call then offer them a kind “good day”.  Meanwhile, I’d file the letters in the recycle bin, unless it is a settlement offer or a response to your letter.  You’ll want to follow-up with those letters in accordance with your ability to settle at that time.

This is a lot of information so please let me know if you have questions.  In the meantime, good luck and God Bless.

Three or four more emails were exchanged and my heart ached when she questioned her strength to power through and leaped with encouragement when, in agreeing to allow me to share this story with you she responded:

“In answer to your question, that will be fine.  I would be happy to be part of helping someone else if at all possible, although I am sure that other people have worse situations that I have.  Thanks again for your help.”

My bet is that “Ella’s” strength will carry the day and she’ll be stronger and wiser for the experience. 

Godspeed “Ella”.

Letter 1 – No Settlement Letter –

Letter 2 – Settlement Offer Letter –  

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Lately I’ve been sharing my notes or thoughts from my first time reading Rick Warren’s “The Purpose Driven Life”.

Previously I shared Days 1-10 and Days 11-25.  Today I’ll conclude the series with my notes for Days 26 – 40.

 Day 26 Temptations arise as a means of trying to drive a wedge between us and God.  They should be viewed as testaments of our relationship with God and as opportunities to grow that relationship by leaning on our need for God’s help.

Day 27 Filling our heads and minds with God’s word will help us resist temptations; never will God allow us to be tempted by more than we can bear.

Day 28 God’s work in us takes time, we must steep in our experiences and incremental growth in order to achieve the maturity He has in store for us.

Day 29 Being of service to God and His people is our divine assignment.

Day 30 God has endowed each of us with Spiritual gifts and specific/unique “Passions of the Heart” which we should use to guide and direct our lives.  The internal motivations and passions are the guide posts that direct us along the path God has designed for us.

Day 31 We are each shaped by our abilities, personality traits, and experiences – this shaping further customizes us for the purposes God has planned for us.

Day 32 Just as God has endowed us with specific skills and talents, He expects us to exercise and develop those talents in our service to Him.

Day 33 God has shaped us for the service of His people but service to the Lord s more about the attitude and spirit we take to the service than the actions themselves.

Day 34 To effectively serve God we must embrace the role of being a servant, we must sacrifice our ourselves, we must lose our lives in the service of others.

Day 35 Just as God has planned and prepared our strengths, He too has preordained our weaknesses and flaws… God also expects us to use our weaknesses for His glory.

Day 36 All that we have from God and all that He has done in us is to prepare us for His mission – our mission is to lead others to Christ partnering with Him for Him.

Day 37 To carry out our mission we must prepare our message… how has God blessed us and how has our relationship with God improved us… now, how can I share it?

Day 38 The Great Commission is our Commission, we need to ask God where He wants us to execute our purpose… our mission.

Day 39 Our purpose is multi-faceted and requires effort to ensure a proper balance.  Logging our struggles and successes ensures balance, as well as, accountability and the teaching of others.

Day 40 Without a purpose we are merely existing… we should challenge ourselves to document, study, and refine our purpose with the goal of glorifying God in and with our lives.

If you’re interested in stepping through this book yourself, click “Purpose Driven Life”“>”Purpose Driven Life” to purchase your copy at Amazon.

Photo By:  i am sybylastrud

Recently I started sharing with you my notes or thoughts from my first time reading Rick Warren’s “The Purpose Driven Life”.  I’ve appreciated the response I’ve received and am pleased to continue forward with this series.

However, before we get to today’s installment, I promised a Dustin over at Engaged Marriage that I’d share a little about how I became motivated to read this book.  When it was released I mentally registered it as a “one day” read, but an episode in metro Atlanta pushed this book up my list.  It still took me some time before actually sitting down to read through it, but I recall this story as being a crystallizing moment in my decision making process.

In 2005 a killer was loose on the streets of Atlanta.  He had escaped and fled an Atlanta courthouse, killing at least 4 people in the process.  Randomly, he kidnapped a local woman and held her hostage in her apartment.  At the time of the ordeal, the woman was reading Purpose and over the ensuing hours she shared from her experiences and faith.  She held to her faith that God was doing a work in her life and that this event was not random at all, but part of a larger plan.  She escaped with no harm, and the assailant was captured but lives were changed.  Click here for more from this remarkable story.

Also, the principle in this episode, Ashley Smith has her own book about the incident entitled Unlikely Angel.  I have not read this one, but I wanted to share it just the same.

Today, I’ll pick up today with my notes for Days 11 – 25.

Day 11 God wants our friendship and like any friendship, it must be based on availability and communication – prayer allows us to talk to God but meditation allows God to talk with us.

 Day 12 We are responsible for the level of intimacy in our relationship with God.  As we seek Him out and demonstrate our faith and trust, God will draw us near.

 Day 13 God wants our genuine displays of worship – these should be unique to our personalities but no less honest and heartfelt.

 Day 14 Part of our spiritual training is the enduring of times when God seems distant.  As with any relationship, distance can test our devotion and faithfulness.  However, know that God is not really far but simply withdrawn, quietly observing.

 Day 15 As believers we are called into God’s family – a tremendous blessing and responsibility.

 Day 16 Love is our purpose and should be our legacy – God is love, so too should we aspire to be…

 Day 17 We are called into membership, to be part of Christ’s body requires that we embrace His church, it is where we belong and where we will grow.

 Day 18 Small group Fellowship within God’s family is important to our own journey, as well as, to our contribution to God’s family.

 Day 19 God expects us to build and foster a community within our church or group.  It is within this community that we are held accountable, as well as, responsible to hold others accountable.

 Day 20 It is not only our responsibility to maintain our relationships but to actively seek out and restore relationships that have gone astray.

 Day 21 God also calls us to protect the church – this requires our maturity to maintain peace but also the ability and willingness to reconcile when issues arise.

 Day 22 God created us to become Christ-like – this is our objective.  To accomplish this we must act in faith while allowing the Holy Spirit to act in us.

Day 23 It is God’s plan for us to grow to be more and more Christ-like, to affect this change, it is important that we alter our way of thinking

Day 24 God asks us to study and invest ourselves in His word – the Bible – through study and meditation of God’s word we are transformed and our lives will change.

 Day 25 God also intends for us to grow our character into a more Christ-like image.

 If you’re interested in stepping through this book yourself, click “Purpose Driven Life” to purchase your copy at Amazon.

Photo By:  Bantang Nikonero